Mostly Multiples

Make Money with Microstock Photography

2009-03-21T12:38:00.004-05:00

Here's a great new way to earn extra money as a stay-at-home parent.

It's called microstock photography. You may have heard of stock photography in the past. That's when a company or its ad agency needs some art for an ad or other material, and they turn to a group that sells the work of professional photographers, typically for a few hundred or thousand dollars per photo.

But in this modern era of microtransactions and crowd sourcing, a new form of stock photography has emerged. Called microstock, this new format encourages everyone with a decent camera or design skills to post their work -- and get paid for it!

Have some great digital shots stored on your computer? Handy with Adobe Illustrator? Willing to learn how to do 3D renders in your downtime?

We've just been doing it for a few months, and already we're making around $30 a day. We post a few images each night and after a few days of the approval process, they get added to the libraries of the major microstock agencies -- -- just to name a few.

And you can put your marketing skills to work in promoting your portfolio to increase sales. Here's an example of how to showcase your work: iQoncept.com. This site spotlights several images and links to the gallery at Shutterstock, where they can be purchased.

How much money can you make in microstock? It varies by agency, ranging from $.25 per download as a beginning artist(at Shutterstock) to more than $30 if someone purchases an extended license.

If this has raised your interest, I encourage you to learn more at the sites for these major microstock sites:

- Shutterstock

- Fotolia

- Dreamstime

It's a great outlet for your creativity, a way to have fun... and of course, make some extra money! Good luck!

First Haircuts

2007-10-09T21:25:00.000-05:00

Our triplets finally received their first professional haircut last week (I emphasize finally because of the level of difficulty in finding the right moment to take them into public since they turned a year old). It was better than we expected. Of course, I would never do this on my own but we were lucky that grandparents and one fun aunt was able to juggle the entertainment, the photo shoot, and holding each of them while Mommy was making sure their first hairstyle was hip and easy to care for. I learned a few tips as well.
DO make sure you have help when taking your multiples to the salon. DO choose your neighborhood Borics or Fantastic Sams or local cheap salon. There is a trend for specialty children hair salons popping up everywhere - they're very fun and cute but to pay for a haircut that a stylist would charge me - no way! Especially, since the time spent on a first haircut, especially for a toddler, is very brief and sometimes only the bangs are cut - why spend the money? Also, DO take before and after shots of your children so you can remember those adorable curls. Finally, your stylist should have an envelope or some kind of holder to contain those first clippings for their memory box.

Creating a Play Center for Your Toddlers

2007-10-01T21:19:00.000-05:00

I've discovered a great article in the September/October 07 issue of Wondertime magazine. I love this publication, by the way! In this issue, an article on creating a play area in your home for your kids has helped ease my obsession on making sure our 18 month triplets and 7 year old son have a fun play and learning environment.

Fortunately, our basement has the perfect room which we divided in half to accomodate our more media-centered son (already equipped with comfortable furniture, books, and television). Just a few fun touches to make it kid-friendly were purchased at Ikea. For our on-the-go/young explorer threesome, we used tips from the Wondertime article. First divide your play area into four sections: dress-up/imaginative play, building blocks/cars/puzzles or small motor skill play, quiet (book readling) play, and sensory interactive play.

The imaginative play area consists of a small tote of dress-up clothes, hats, old costumes, jewelry and a wall mirror (I purchased a set of 4 small round mirrors from Ikea for under $7.00). The small motor skill play center has a table and chairs and a sorting bin of various toys (blocks, cars, dolls, etc). Our quiet play area has a basket of easily accessible books and a comfy floor cushion for our three toddlers to crash onto for rest and reading time. The sensory interactive play area in our house for now is occupied by a train table for train tracks and Thomas the Tank Engine. However, it was suggested in the Wondertime article that a water/sand table be used to fill occasionally with various materials (macaroni, oatmeal, rice, etc) for little hands to explore textures and to practice their fine motor skills with shovel & bucket.

Hand Sanitizers Dangerous for Children

2007-07-20T22:12:00.000-05:00

by Susan Heim, author, It's Twins!

I recently read a report in a newsletter written by a mother who was called to her daughter’s school after they found her to be extremely lethargic and incoherent.

The four-year-old was unable to hold up her head or focus her eyes. After questioning the child’s classmates, they learned that she had been licking hand sanitizer from her hand! The hospital discovered that the girl had an extremely high blood alcohol level.

I remember the days when my teenagers were in elementary school, and one of the required items on their supply list was always a bottle of hand sanitizer.

So, naturally I was suspicious of the story I had read because I had a hard time believing that children would be given something that was so dangerous. But after checking out the urban legend websites, I learned that the story is true!

Hand sanitizers can contain up to 60 percent alcohol, which is 120 proof—a higher alcohol content than vodka! The result, depending on the amount ingested, could be intoxication, alcohol poisoning, and even death.

If your child has been around hand sanitizers and is showing symptoms such as slurred speech, extreme fatigue, vomiting, glassy eyes or anything else out of the ordinary, call 911 immediately. Treat hand sanitizers as poisons and keep them out of reach of children. As for me, that’s one item on the school supply list that this mother won’t be purchasing!

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Susan M. Heim is an author and editor, specializing in parenting, multiples, women’s and Christian issues. She is a former Senior Editor for a major publishing company, where she specialized in the bestselling "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series as well as religion and teen books. Susan is the author of the books, Oh, Baby! 7 Ways a Baby Will Change Your Life the First Year (Hampton Roads, 2006); "Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons" (TWINS Magazine, 2007); and It's Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence (Hampton Roads, 2007). Susan has a column called "Loving and Living with Twins and Multiples" on MommiesMagazine.com. She is a member of the National Association of Women Writers and the Southeastern Writers Association, and has a degree in Business Administration from Michigan State University. She is married and the mother of four sons--two teenagers and twin toddlers. Check out her blog, http://www.susanheim.blogspot.com

Is TV Watching Bad for Babies?

2007-06-10T06:27:00.000-05:00

There's a school of thought that suggests a baby or toddler should watch no television at all, with studies finding that TV watching only leads to short attention spans and learning difficulties as the child ages.

Before our children were born, we planned to keep TV out of their lives for as long as possible. It seems like common sense that anything our children can learn from television would be better taught by family and friends in real life experiences.

It's an admirable goal, and if you have round-the-clock help and saint-like patience, one that might even be achievable. But if you have more than one child, and you have to make time to do your own housework, cook meals for everyone, etc., a practical approach to TV is probably the best idea.

For our triplet babies, we've set a policy of letting them watch one Baby Einstein video each day. It's a good complement to their other daily play activities, and gives us a break to do some quick laundry or dishes.

And for our seven-year-old, the policy is that he can watch one video a day, but he has to earn the opportunity by getting his homework done and keeping his room clean. If his room is a mess, or his daily chore isn't done yet, the movie has to wait.

Ideally, we'd be Supermom and Superdad with the ability to keep everyone entertained and teach them about the world (and also get all the housework done) without ever turning on the TV. But until we develop those superpowers, we'll have to settle for a common sense approach to television and guard against it becoming a major part of their lives.

Baby Einstein DVD Reviews

2007-06-10T06:11:00.000-05:00

While we're believers in keeping TV time to a minimum, the Baby Einstein DVD series is currently the only program that we allow our 15-month-old triplets to watch.

The tone of the videos is far from the in-your-face, hyper-edited cartoons that litter most television channels. Each Baby Einstein video presents new concepts in a leisurely paced montage of comforting images. They present a mix of still photography, puppet interactions, and video of children playing.

Our triplets are in agreement on one aspect of the series: their favorite parts are the puppet segments. They will often laugh or clap when the different animal puppets appear on screen to sing or interact.

Narration is typically in a calm, female voice and stresses single words or phrases at a time so the baby is not bombarded with too much information at a time.

We have at least a dozen of the Baby Einstein DVDs so far, and it's hard to single out certain titles as being better than others. The quality is consistent, and have a similar running time of approximately 30 to 35 minutes for the main program on each disc, though most have extended bonus features that add value.

Baby Einstein DVD titles include:

Baby Bach
- Engages your newborn/infant through sights and sounds
- uses colorful real-world objects for visual scenes

Baby Mozart Music Festival
- Introduces your baby to the classical music of Mozart with visually stimulating real-world objects on screen
- From birth and up

Baby Beethoven Symphony of Fun
- Featuring the compositions of Beethoven
- Appropriate for ages 1 month and up

Language Nursery
- Exposes your baby to sounds of seven different languages: English, French, Spanish, Russian, Hebrew, German, and Japanese
- Appropriate for ages 1 month and up

Baby Santa's Music Box
- Joyeux Noel! Feliz Navidad! Buon Natale! Merry Christmas!
- Celebrate with holiday musical sounds from around the world
- Appropriate for ages 1 month and up

Baby Monet
- A musical introduction to the four seasons
- Features the music of Vivaldi
- Appropriate from 6 months and up

Baby da Vinci From Head to Toe
- Baby's first introduction to their eyes, ears, hands, feet, and more.
- Features Spanish, English and French language tracks for added learning.
- Set to the music of Vivaldi, Bach and Handel
- Appropriate for ages 9 months and up.

Baby MacDonald A Day on the Farm
- A fun-filled introduction to the sights and sounds of a farm
- Features live-action images and engaging visuals of puppets, children, toys, and real-world objects
- Combines traditional nursery rhymes with the classical music of Schubert, Schumann and Strauss
- Appropriate for ages 9 months and up

Baby Galileo Discovering the Sky
- Baby's first introduction to the sky and solar system
- Features captivating footage of the sky, planets, and galaxies
- Features musical scores by Mozart, Chopin, Strauss and Tchaikovsky
- Appropriate for ages 9 months and up

Baby Neptune Discovering Water
- Baby's first introduction to water
- Features the melodic scores of Handel's Water Music
- Appropriate for ages 9 months and up

Baby's Favorite Places
- A playful introduction to words and sign language - my street to main street
- 12 Months +

Baby Einstein Meet the Orchestra - First Instruments
- First Instruments introduces your toddler to musical instruments that make up an orchestra and the different sounds that they make.
- Features multi-language viewing options in English, French, and Spanish for added learning
- Uses real-life images with classical music by Beethoven, Brahms, Joplin, Haydn, Mozart, and Strauss.
- Appropriate from 1 year

Baby Einstein On The Go -- Riding, Sailing, and Soaring
- A musical introduction to transportation and "things that go."
- Features multi-language viewing options in English, French, and Spanish for added learning.
- Uses real-life images with classical music by Haydn, Beethoven, Mozart, and Rossini.
- Appropriate from 1 year

Baby Wordsworth First Words - Around the House
- A musical introduction to baby's first words and communication
- Features bonus language learning with Spanish, French and English tracks
- Includes the music of Bach, Bizet, and Schubert.
- Appropriate from 1 year

Baby Noah Animal Expedition
- A musical introduction to animals around the globe
- Features bonus language learning with Spanish, French and English tracks
- Includes the music of Beethoven, Mozart, and Strauss
- Appropriate from 1 year

Baby Newton Discovering Shapes
- Introduces your toddler to five shapes
- Features many of Vivaldi's favorite compositions
- Appropriate for ages 1 year and up

Baby Shakespeare World of Poetry
- Poetry in Motion with real world images
- Features award winning Baby Beethoven soundtrack
- Appropriate for ages 1 year and up

Baby Van Gogh World of Colors
- Exposes your baby to the wonder of color through Van Gogh's artwork
- Introduces your baby to classical music selections from Van Gogh's era
- Appropriate for ages 1 year and up

Neighborhood Animals
- Meet animals that live in and around the home
- This DVD compliments the Baby Einstein Animal Discovery Cards
- Engaging music from the 19th and early 20th centuries
- Appropriate for ages 1 year and up

Numbers Nursery
- A playful and interactive introduction to the numbers 1 through 5
- Uses familiar, real-world objects to show what numbers mean
- Features the melodic scores of Haydn, Chopin, Strauss, and Schubert
- Appropriate for ages 1 year and up

World Animals
- Discover animals from the jungle, savanna and ocean
- This DVD compliments the Baby Einstein World Animal Discovery Cards
- Features music from the 19th and early 20th centuries
- Appropriate for ages 1 year and up

Dinner Ideas for Busy Parents of Multiples

2007-06-08T19:43:00.000-05:00

by Elizabeth Lyons, author, Ready or Not Here We Come!: The Real Experts' Guide to the First Year With Twins

Whatever stage of parenting twins you’re in, you are likely in need of a few good dinner ideas. If you’re due any day now, it’s wise to have frozen meals that can be cooked on a moment’s notice. If your babies have recently arrived, perhaps you’re tiring of pizza and pancakes. And if your children are newly mobile, you’re undoubtedly too busy removing them from the top of the kitchen table or pulling them out of the fireplace to cook a well-rounded meal each night.

Whether challenged by basic cooking concepts or void of the time required to prepare meals you feel good about, worry not. There are plenty of ways to ensure that—one way or another—a healthy, delicious meal hits the table before you’re forced to once again weed through the take-out menus.

Organize a Frozen-Dinner Exchange
Many moms are familiar with the concept of a cookie exchange. Invitees—in this case we'll assume eight—bake a dozen cookies for each party guest. At the exchange, guests fill their containers with a dozen of each other’s cookies and return home with eight dozen assorted treats.

Many women have modified this concept to substitute freezer-ready meals in lieu of cookies. Each woman chooses an entrée and bakes multiple batches. They gather to exchange, and each participant returns home with a variety of entrees to put into her freezer. Again assuming that the group has eight members, each woman would arrive with eight of the same assembled entree and return home with eight different ones.

This approach works well because participants need to purchase only the ingredients—albeit in large quantity—for their particular entrée. In assembly-line fashion, they are able to put together eight entrees in a short timeframe. The fact that the end result requires a social gathering may give some women the push they need to stuff that final chicken breast. Heck, some days the social gathering may take priority altogether, and returning home with a variety of meals is simply a bonus!

Become a Freezer-Cooker
The concept of freezer cooking has taken off. For those who wish to bake their own meals at home—and are enticed by the concept of letting one day’s worth of cooking provide a month’s worth of meals—companies such as 30-Day Gourmet were established.

Owner Nanci Slagle began freezer cooking in 1993 when she had four children under the age of eight and was anxious to try anything that might help her get a decent meal on the table. Nanci and her friend Tara began experimenting with recipes, and soon came up with a great system for filling their freezers with great-tasting meals. Since then, the company has grown to include a bestselling cookbook, seven e-books, cooking software, and a website that features free recipes and a monthly online newsletter for freezer cooks. For more information on 30-Day Gourmet, and to download a free 30-day trial version, click here.

Attend a Freezer Cooking Session
If you are interested in stocking your freezer, but not in covering your kitchen (not to mention your clothes) with thirty meals’ worth of ingredients, the latest craze in freezer cooking takes the purchasing, dicing, pureeing and cleanup out of the equation. During a two-hour session at a freezer-cooking “store,” participants assemble between eight and twelve entrees designed to be frozen and then cooked when needed.

Oftentimes, customers are permitted to split these meals with a friend, each taking half of an entrée home with her. An alternate choice is to divide them for your own family. If a particular entrée has six chicken breasts and you know that between your family you’ll likely consume only three of them, you can create two meals by splitting the meal in half. Some businesses offer side dishes, many offer suggestions for sides, and most offer desserts. Popular chains include Dream Dinners and Super Suppers, yet privately owned operations are opening as well. Check your local phone book to find out what’s available in your area.

Purchase Healthy, Pre-Made Meals
A few companies exist from which you can order pre-cooked, frozen meals to arrive on your doorstep. One such company is A La Zing. Owned by Omaha Steaks, A La Zing provides two-person meals or family-style meals designed to go directly from the freezer to the oven. This option is perfect if you don’t need a frozen meal at-the-ready every night, but would like to have reserves in the freezer (that you didn’t have to bake or assemble yourself).

Old-Fashioned Home Cooking—Simplified
If you wish to be your own chef, but simply don’t have time to search through recipes, make grocery lists, and identify complementary side dishes, it’s okay; there’s a compromise. There are several online opportunities that streamline the dinner-making process.

One of my favorites is Saving Dinner. Owned by Leanne Ely, a certified nutritional consultant, the service offers subscribers a weekly Menu-Mailer which contains five or six recipes, the associated grocery lists (divided according to standard grocery store sections), and the nutritional information for each entrée. Suggested side dishes are also provided. There are six versions of the Menu-Mailer from which to choose, including regular, low-carb, and crockpot meals.

As moms of multiples, we juggle a variety of challenges day after day. There’s no need to add a what’s-for-dinner dilemma night after night. There will be plenty of time in years to come to cook complete, nutritious meals the entire family will enjoy. Don’t forget, once your kids are able to do so on any level, they’ll love nothing more than helping out in the kitchen. Once they surpass that stage, they might not like helping, but they’ll be mighty capable of peeling potatoes or steaming broccoli.

While raising young children, good nutrition is critical. After all, we need all the help we can get to ensure we have the energy to race to the child who is about to jump from the kitchen table!

Bon appétit!

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ELIZABETH LYONS is a parenting twins expert, syndicated columnist, freelance writer, and author of the hilarious Ready or Not Here We Come!: The Real Experts' Guide to the First Year With Twins (Finn-Phyllis Press, Inc., 2003) AND Ready or Not . . . There We Go!: The REAL Experts' Guide to the Toddler Years with Twins (Finn-Phyllis Press, Inc., 2006). Elizabeth spent much of her pre-kid, pre-twins career working for Accenture, a major consulting firm. She lives with her husband, David, and their four children (a daughter and twin boys) in the Pheonix area. She consumes vast amounts of chocolate with a vitamin chaser daily. Elizabeth's work has been published in the Chicago Tribune, Parenting, Today's Blue Suit Mom, Pregnancy, Better Homes & Gardens, and numerous websites.

10 Secrets to Surviving the Second Year with Twins

2007-06-08T19:41:00.000-05:00

by Elizabeth Lyons, author, Ready or Not Here We Come!: The Real Experts' Guide to the First Year With Twins

On the day your twins turn one year old—possibly even at the stroke of midnight—you will fall back on your bed and breathe a huge sigh of relief. After all, no year could be as challenging as the first, right? Right. That’s the good news. Some additional news: the second year is going to be an “interesting” one. However, you’re going to make it. Here are the ten products and mind-sets that will guarantee your success.

VERY low expectations
Alice Walker summed it up perfectly when she said, “Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise.” This is what you’ll need to do for the majority of year two. If you can manage it—most of the time—you’ll survive quite nicely. Choosing to maintain very low expectations might seem negative at first. If so, try thinking of it this way: This approach is not pessimistic, it’s realistic. If you don’t have a master plan in mind for the way things will go, you significantly reduce the potential for being disappointed. An experience that might otherwise have been viewed as horrendous might be seen as “fascinating.” A trip to the grocery store during which the kids were not in the most wonderful moods might be viewed as a success simply because you were able to keep some semblance of peace until everything on your list had been purchased. Heed the advice of Emmet Fox: “Bless a thing and it will bless you. Curse it and it will curse you…If you bless a situation, it has no power to hurt you, and even if it is troublesome for a time, it will gradually fade out…”

Your own phone booth
As with many of my sanity savers, I credit my friend Mollie for this one. We were talking recently via phone, all four of our boys were screaming at us, and she said (loudly), “That’s it—I’m asking Gary for my own phone booth for Christmas this year!” The key to surviving this year of non-stop vocalization is to accept that you will have nary a moment of peace between 7:00AM and 8:00PM. When you are playing with your children, each is vying for your attention. When you’re trying to book a doctor’s appointment (perhaps with a licensed therapist), at least one child will likely be hanging on your leg and whining. When you’re trying to simply take a seven-second-bathroom break, one is banging on the door in fear that you’ve stealthily slipped out via the toilet bowl.

Try to limit your social phone conversations to naptime or after the kids’ bedtime. That way, when you have to receive or place an important call during the day, you can be more firm about the fact that Mommy is on the phone and unless someone’s bleeding or has stopped breathing, the issue will need to wait a few moments.

A warehouse-sized jug of Maalox
During the second year, you will likely find your twins in some precarious places—and possibly even positions attempting to get to those places. For starters, I’ve found my boys locked in their room—one with an appendage stuck behind the bed, on top of their bookshelf (yes, it’s bolted to the wall), and hiding small toys quite deep inside their floor vent. The key to keeping your doses of Maalox infrequent: When it gets uncomfortably quiet in your home before the kids are in bed for the night, don’t be thankful. Be nervous. Be very, very nervous.

Duct Tape
I never thought this item would come in handy for child-related challenges. I was wrong. Our multiples sorority’s first experience with duct tape came when Mollie could find no other way to keep her boys from pulling open her oven door. All of the baby stores were out of the oven lock (must be a common challenge) so in the meantime, she wrapped the entire front of the appliance with duct tape. Shortly thereafter, in an effort to strategize a solution to preventing Jack from removing his diaper during naptime (he can—and will—take off any and all clothes to get his diaper off), Mollie suggested wrapping it with duct tape. Good news: It prevents the child from being able to completely remove the diaper. Bad news: It does not prevent the child from reaching up through the legs of the diaper and removing its contents. More bad news: It’s about as hard for parents to get the diaper off as it is for the child!

The ability to discriminate between an inconvenience and an emergency
As Dr. Richard Carlson noted in his book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all small stuff, “Although most people believe otherwise, the truth is, life isn’t an emergency. The first step in becoming a more peaceful person is to have the humility to admit that, in most cases, you’re creating your own emergencies. Life will usually go on if things don’t go according to plan.” A dirty house is an inconvenience, not an emergency (unless Oprah is on her way over). Not having time to hand-make your holiday cards one year is an inconvenience, not an emergency. Don’t pressure yourself to be and have it all each and every day. In most cases, the only person with these high expectations of yourself is you! There will be plenty of time once your kids are in school all day to scrub the kitchen floor until it shines "like the top of the Chrysler Building" and craft until you can craft no more.

A Low need for order/control
Newsflash: There is not going to be much of either during this year. Two year olds are curious…period. Two year olds who have a constant partner in crime are something more significantly scary than curious. The amount of trouble these children can get themselves into in the forty-two seconds it takes you to switch a load of laundry to the dryer before it begins to mildew can defy even the most active imagination. Some advice to keep in mind: One. While some are a bit more time-consuming than others, most messes can be cleaned up. (If necessary, review the above Inconvenience versus Emergency advice.) Two. If it’s broken, but not valuable, it’s OK. Three. If it’s broken and valuable, perhaps it shouldn’t have been out in the first place!

Short-sleeved shirts
What is the biggest giveaway that a woman is a mother of multiples? She’s wearing a short-sleeved shirt in the middle of February in Chicago. Why? Because she’s constantly sweating. My poor husband suggests we build a fire most winter nights, and I have to weakly reply, “Uh…Ok…I guess.” I then sit in another room. And I wonder why I rush to pick up my daughter from preschool—coatless—thinking how wonderful the cool air will feel, only to develop frostbitten arms between the parking lot and the front door.

Patience
While it may sound ridiculous at times, the effect of slowly counting to ten is highly underestimated. Learn to do it in various languages to create learning and calming environments simultaneously! There will likely be many occasions when your first instinct is to yell when something inconvenient occurs. This is perfectly understandable. After all, when the entire contents of a tube of toothpaste have somehow ended up all over the floor, it can be frustrating. Do your best to determine which incidents are indeed accidents—and, quite possibly, the result of your child simply trying to learn and be independent—and which are behaviors that your child knows are wrong. When the latter occurs, have a plan for a time-out or a natural or logical consequence for your child. Most importantly, be calm and consistent with your response. Sometimes, the entire point of the wrongdoing was to get you in the uproar that your child knows she can get you into. Don’t allow yourself to lose this battle to a two year old!

A lot of paper towels
Yet another good reason to join a warehouse club! Do not buy the cheapest paper towels—the ones that break in half when you attempt to fold them. At the same time, don’t assume that the most expensive brand is your best bet either. What you want is the most absorbent paper towel your dollar can buy. I’m personally a huge fan of Brawny—you know, the “quicker picker-upper.” And by all means, please don’t rinse and reuse paper towels in an effort to conserve money or anything else. I’ve made my penchant for bargain shopping quite clear, but even I draw the line on this one. Our family goes through approximately one roll of paper towels every two days or so, and that’s just fine with me. I just don’t have the time to be doing multiple loads of laundry each day to wash the again-dirty (and pretty) dishtowels.

A good, reliable sitter (or two)
By the time your multiples reach the age of one, you’re going to be ultra comfortable leaving them for an evening, believe me! It’s extremely important to ensure that you have a reliable sitter with whom you are comfortable leaving your children for a few hours so that you and your husband can get out together. I realize that once you get comfortable with actually leaving your children, you will get uncomfortable with how much it will cost to leave them. It’s easy to think, “Once we recover financially from paying the sitter, on top of the cost of our evening out, we might as well have just stayed home.” Look at the expense as an investment in your marriage and allocate part of your monthly budget to babysitting services. This way, it’s not an unexpected expense.

Your twins’ second year will be full of new experiences and lessons. Your children will bloom before your eyes in more ways than you can imagine. You will undoubtedly grow throughout the year as well. Noted St. Paul, “I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” Keep this attitude and you’ll be at the beginning of year three before you know it.
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ELIZABETH LYONS is a parenting twins expert, syndicated columnist, freelance writer, and author of the hilarious Ready or Not Here We Come!: The Real Experts' Guide to the First Year With Twins (Finn-Phyllis Press, Inc., 2003) AND Ready or Not . . . There We Go!: The REAL Experts' Guide to the Toddler Years with Twins (Finn-Phyllis Press, Inc., 2006). Elizabeth spent much of her pre-kid, pre-twins career working for Accenture, a major consulting firm. She lives with her husband, David, and their four children (a daughter and twin boys) in the Pheonix area. She consumes vast amounts of chocolate with a vitamin chaser daily. Elizabeth's work has been published in the Chicago Tribune, Parenting, Today's Blue Suit Mom, Pregnancy, Better Homes & Gardens, and numerous websites.

Nine Sanity Savers for Busy Moms

2007-06-08T19:38:00.000-05:00

by Elizabeth Lyons, author, Ready or Not Here We Come!: The Real Experts' Guide to the First Year With Twins

Are you familiar with the Amelia Bedelia book cover on which Amelia is running (and smiling) with perfectly rosy cheeks, a freshly baked pie in hand, her apron and shoes on, and even a cute hat on her head? She appears to have it all together in the midst of what is assumed to be a moment of chaos. Truth be told, many days I feel like Amelia. However, I’m in sweats, my hair is disheveled, I’m makeup-free, barefoot, and carrying a bowl of Raisin Bran above my head so my dogs don’t get it. Sometimes I wonder if the kind of woman Amelia Bedelia represents truly exists. Never mind—if she does, I don’t want to know about it.

Luckily, there are several products and habits that will make life as a busy mom easier to manage, and, at a minimum, make us feel as though we’ve got it under control.

A Headset phone
This is a very important staple. As a busy mom, you will want to have conversations with other adults (possibly even telemarketers) just to keep in touch with the outside world. I always thought all those people driving their cars wearing cell phone headsets looked extremely silly. However, I will readily admit that they figured out a secret to surviving the madness earlier than I did. They can do whatever they are doing (in their case, driving) and talk on the phone at the same time. It’s a beautiful thing. The headset phone allows you to talk while you cook, clean, change diapers, make bottles—you name it! Your neck will thank you, trust me. Invest in a headset for your current phone or get a headset phone altogether if your current phone will not accommodate a headset attachment.

Chocolate
If you ever feel guilty about consuming this heavenly delight that can improve even the worst of moods, consider this: Chocolate is actually a vegetable. That’s right, folks. Think of it this way: Chocolate is derived from the cocoa bean and bean equals vegetable, right? Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar beets, both of which are plants—in the vegetable family. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable (plus, chocolate bars contain dairy, which is good for your bones). Need I say more?

A Soothing Paint Color in Your Primary Work Area
Color therapy was likely first practiced by the Ancient Egyptians, who shone sunlight through colored gems onto those who sought healing. Today, this therapy is used in many of the nation’s premier spas as a way to soothe the frazzled mind and assist with meditation. Tones of blue have been shown to encourage relaxation and tranquility as well as inspire patience and calming thoughts. If it works with the neighboring rooms’ décor, why not paint your primary work area a shade of blue? If blue simply will not work, know that greens and purples are also calming colors. Reds, yellows, and oranges, however, are stimulating. Try to avoid these colors in those areas where you spend a great deal of time. As I’m sure you’re well aware, neither moms nor their kids need to be any more stimulated than they already are by 5:30PM.

14,000 Things to be Happy About, by Barbara Ann Kipfer
I love this book. It is impossible not to find something on nearly every page of it that will evoke a fond or funny memory and make you smile even in your worst hour. I actually highlighted (way back when I had free time) my favorites so I could find them quickly. Some personal favorites: The Electric Company (TV show), funnel cakes, and shorty skis. By the way, what ever happened to The Electric Company? (or 3-2-1 Contact for that matter!)

30-Day Gourmet
Are you as tired as I am of what I now refer to as the “4:00 panic?” This is when you stop to think, oftentimes out loud, “OK, what are we going to have for dinner tonight?” (It’s also usually about the same time your husband calls and asks the same question.) Until recently, five out of seven nights a week, that question was answered at my house with the word “cereal” or “pancakes.” No longer. And not because I’ve suddenly become a devoted cook. I found out about a fabulous site product: 30 Day Gourmet. Their site allows you to download and test out for thirty days—and then order—a cookbook that will allow you to bake 30 nights’ worth of meals in one “lazy Sunday afternoon” (as if such a thing exists anymore)! It can be modified, of course. Bake enough meals for two weeks if that’s all you need. I am simply so pleased to be able to announce that “Tonight, we’ll be having Chicken in a Pot” (even though my four-year-old often responds with “Can’t we just have pancakes?”) Look for the link to their site from my Sanity Savers page.

A Good Chiropractor
What is the most common physical complaint of moms? Low back pain. In a two-year study completed in 1990 by Britain’s Medical Research Council, chiropractic treatment was found more effective than hospital out-patient care for low back pain. Now, I realize that the image many of us get when thinking about getting a chiropractic adjustment is that of Madonna lying on a table having her neck whipped around in that Truth or Dare documentary of her Blind Ambition Tour, but I have become a firm believer in this alternative form of medicine. I don’t trust it to cure disease just yet, but in terms of helping my ever-aching back and neck, it’s a godsend. According to Dr. Jennifer Wise, Director of the Synergy Institute in Naperville, Illinois, “It has been my experience that integrating the arts of Chiropractic and physical therapy in one setting benefits the patient, allowing them to achieve faster and more complete healing. As a Chiropractor, I work to align the patient’s skeletal structure, while our on-site physical therapist works with the patient’s soft tissues to make the healing process occur more quickly. It is important to train the soft tissues to have memory and endurance so that postural correction is long lasting.”

A Small Wallet
All moms know that given the opportunity, they could fill an L.L. Bean, size Large duffel bag with supplies for a day away from home with their children. The key to not doing that (once you’re truly beyond the “I have to take everything in the house with me” stage) is to ensure that your purse is not big enough to carry much more than the basic necessities. I make sure mine is only large enough to accommodate a wallet, cell phone, antibacterial gel, and Snickers bar. Same goes for wallets; buy a big one, and you’re going to somehow acquire thirty credit cards (or a variety of Starbucks Buy-Ten-Get-One-Free cards and the like) and the poor contraption will be ready to explode at any moment. Find a wallet that is only large enough for your license, a credit card or two, and some cash. Fossil makes a great one called the Amherst Credit Card Case. It comes in several colors—and fits quite nicely in a very small purse.

Daily spiritual quiet time
Joseph Campbell said, “You must have a…certain hour of the day where you do not know what was in the morning paper…a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are, and what you might be…” This time has become even more important in my daily routine than taking a shower (and many days, trust me, I do trade one for the other!). Life is a journey. Oftentimes, we feel as though we’re lost and the map is missing somewhere under a big pile of toys. Who are we? What are we here for? What will we do with ourselves when our children actually leave the house one day? Spending some spiritual quiet time each morning and/or evening is invaluable. It can keep you centered and focused, and remind you that there is something so much greater than you at work in your life. That fact allows me to let go of my need to control everything (at least for a moment or two). Three great books to get you started on your journey: Wisdom of the Ages: 60 Days to Enlightenment by Wayne W. Dyer, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle, and One Day My Soul Just Opened Up, by Iyanla Vanzant.

A Cell phone
If you don’t have a cell phone by this point—for any reason—I beg you to get one this evening. All women should have one for safety’s sake. I’m certainly not encouraging anyone to have conversations while driving, however, I personally feel quite naked if I get halfway down the block and realize that I’ve forgotten my phone. While out and about, it’s comforting to know you can be reached at any time if one of your children needs you.

Unfortunately, the most life-altering sanity-saver for busy moms has not yet been invented. I envision it as a robot of sorts that does everything from cleaning to cooking to dressing kids for school. One day, perhaps. For now, I’m sticking with low expectations and a Hershey Bar.
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ELIZABETH LYONS is a parenting twins expert, syndicated columnist, freelance writer, and author of the hilarious Ready or Not Here We Come!: The Real Experts' Guide to the First Year With Twins (Finn-Phyllis Press, Inc., 2003) AND Ready or Not . . . There We Go!: The REAL Experts' Guide to the Toddler Years with Twins (Finn-Phyllis Press, Inc., 2006). Elizabeth spent much of her pre-kid, pre-twins career working for Accenture, a major consulting firm. She lives with her husband, David, and their four children (a daughter and twin boys) in the Pheonix area. She consumes vast amounts of chocolate with a vitamin chaser daily. Elizabeth's work has been published in the Chicago Tribune, Parenting, Today's Blue Suit Mom, Pregnancy, Better Homes & Gardens, and numerous websites.

Stress Busters for Work-at-Home Moms

2007-06-08T19:35:00.000-05:00

by Elizabeth Lyons, author, Ready or Not Here We Come!: The Real Experts' Guide to the First Year With Twins

Find me a mother who can claim (with a straight face) that she has never felt stressed by the length of her to-do list, the mountain of laundry waiting to be done, or the fact that she can't seem to find a moment of silence during the day and I'll be truly amazed. Their reasons may differ, but the result is the same: mothers' stress levels are oftentimes too high to be healthy. There are tried and true methods to bringing these levels down—and they don't require a new line-item on the budget!

Breathe.
It sounds so simple, but truthfully—how slowly and deeply do you breathe when you're in the midst of a stressful situation? I bet if you pay attention the next time you're shoulder-deep in such a circumstance, you'll realize your breathing pattern is more akin to panting away the contractions that got your children here in the first place! Dr. Melissa Stoppler, expert guide for about.stress.com recommends, "Before reacting to the next stressful occurrence, take three deep breaths and release them slowly." If you have time, sit and breathe this way for three to five minutes or more. Imagine that you are breathing the stress right out of your body.

Have a theme song for stressful occasions.
Remember when Ally McBeal was all the rage and her therapist told her she needed a theme song? Well, turns out we all need one! I have several. Which one I choose to sing (sometimes in the grocery store aisles) depends on the situation I am in and my level of desperation. My latest favorites are: my made-up version of "Killing me slowly" (sung to the tune of "Killing me softly," by Roberta Flack), and "Success" by the Weather Girls. I'm also presently addicted to a few of the tracks off the "Bringing Down the House" soundtrack (the movie starring Steve Martin and Queen Latifah).

Be more in the present moment.
Living in the present allows us to momentarily forget about all the things that have to get done in the next week, month, or year. While you are focusing on being in the present, you will naturally shift your overall perspective (and lower your stress). The fact that the laundry is piling up may be annoying and messy—but in a month, let alone a week, it will be long forgotten (and hopefully done). Ask yourself if the issue over which you're feeling stress will matter in a month. If not, breathe and relax about it. It'll get done—probably sooner than you think. If it truly will matter in a month, take time as soon as possible to accomplish the task. Rarely will something be this important, but when it is, it's best to get it out of the way.

Vent.
Ahhhhh, one of my favorites. I can't tell you how often I call my girlfriends, or vice versa, say "hello," and then proceed to go on for five to ten minutes about something that has me in knots. I end this tirade by saying "OK, that's it. Sorry to dump all that on you. Gotta go deal with a meltdown." For some reason, just getting it off of your mind can be all you need to move on to the next challenge.

Get outside for a few minutes.
Fresh air is an amazing healer. You know when it's been winter for seemingly forever and finally, it's a nice enough day that you can open the windows? Is that not the most refreshing feeling in the world? You breathe more deeply, your whole insides feel "fresher." There is a reason for this. According to Dr. Bernell Baldwin, "Fresh air is chemically different than the recirculated indoor air that most Americans breathe. The life-giving oxygen molecule is negatively charged" gives rise to a number of benefits "protection against some of the physical changes linked to anxiety." Whenever your mind feels as though it needs to be cleared out, head outside for a brief walk; your kids will benefit as well. If you would prefer to simply relax alone, sit outside on a porch or in a porch swing in the evening.

Try a repetitive activity such as knitting.
I should note that this approach does not work for me; when stressed, I tend to knit with aggression and practically impale myself with the knitting needle, but I know some people for whom this activity works wonders. One of my friends does cross-stitch to relax. Others scrapbook. My friend's husband even paints baseboards and crown molding (I sure wish they lived closer!). The point is to find something mindless—an activity that can be done while your mind drifts off and gets a well-deserved break.

Go to bed when your kids do.
Mothers are often programmed to jump to work the minute the kids are in bed. Whether it's completing an obligation for a part-time job, working on one's quest to turn passion into profit, or struggling to get the laundry done so you all don't have to go to playgroup in your PJs, we often don't stop until it's technically the next day. Every once in a while, choose to go to bed when your children do. Put on some comfortable PJs, and put on a good TV show or read a good magazine or book that you've been looking forward to. Give your brain (and your muscles) the night off!

Designate one full day each week as the "No Work Day."
To be fair, I have to give credit to my husband for this suggestion. There is so much going on in our home and our lives that if I wanted to, I could do nothing but housework, kid-work, and business-work until the world came to an end. It was suggested that I pick one day a week to consistently do no work of any kind. No business. No cleaning. No yard work. It's not easy to go cold turkey, but I'm making progress. Last Sunday, I checked e-mail only once and my sole project was finishing decorating the boys' room. Truth be told, I felt quite refreshed as I crawled into bed that night!

Become less controlling.
According to Richard Carlson, PhD, author of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work, "The trait of being controlling is highly stressful. "Dr. Carlson cautions against becoming "tied to an imagined image" of the way your life should be. Determine what your definition of acceptable is. Not your neighbor's, not your best friend's. Devise a plan that will allow you to ensure that those things most important to your day-to-day sanity can be accomplished with some level of frequency.

Being a mom is stressful work, there's no doubt about it. But remember your most important audience: your children. According to child psychiatrist and researcher Dr. Roxanne Dryden-Edwards in an interview with Dr. Melissa Stoppler, "Children of stressed parents can also learn the tendency to get stressed out in reaction to life's challenges from their parents." One of our biggest jobs as parents is to raise our children to be happy, healthy, functioning adults. In order to be able to truly expect them to accomplish these goals, we have to set forth the proper example.
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ELIZABETH LYONS is a parenting twins expert, syndicated columnist, freelance writer, and author of the hilarious Ready or Not Here We Come!: The Real Experts' Guide to the First Year With Twins (Finn-Phyllis Press, Inc., 2003) AND Ready or Not . . . There We Go!: The REAL Experts' Guide to the Toddler Years with Twins (Finn-Phyllis Press, Inc., 2006). Elizabeth spent much of her pre-kid, pre-twins career working for Accenture, a major consulting firm. She lives with her husband, David, and their four children (a daughter and twin boys) in the Pheonix area. She consumes vast amounts of chocolate with a vitamin chaser daily. Elizabeth's work has been published in the Chicago Tribune, Parenting, Today's Blue Suit Mom, Pregnancy, Better Homes & Gardens, and numerous websites.

What Baby Cold Medicines are Safe?

2007-06-02T14:59:00.000-05:00

All three of our triplets are fighting colds right now, and we're locked in a battle of our own: fighting the urge to give them cold medicine.

We've been reading news stories lately about how some doctors are telling parents to forgoe cold medications for babies and toddlers, since ingredients could cause dangerous side effects when dosages are a bit too high. It's even suspected that some deaths have occured when babies received doses as prescribed on the medicine boxes.

In particular, we've been concerned about pseudoephedrine, a common ingredient in nasal decongestant medicines, and one that was found in the systems of a number of babies and toddlers who recently died.

Since we're certainly no experts on the subect, we did some research to pull together some recent articles on the subject in the hopes of helping us -- and you -- make the best, informed judgment when it comes to our children's health. Of course, it's ALWAYS best to check with your doctor before giving your baby any medication, but here's some info that could help you pose some important questions to your doctor:

CNN:
Kid cold medicine overdoses prompt FDA review

Consumer Reports:
Over-the-counter drugs pose a danger to babies, toddlers

Fox News:
Cough Medicine Doesn't Work, May Harm Kids

U.S. Pharmacist:
Treating Congestion
in Children's Summer Colds

Ten Secrets to Surviving the First Year with Twins

2007-06-01T14:19:00.000-05:00

by Elizabeth Lyons, author, Ready or Not Here We Come!: The Real Experts' Guide to the First Year With Twins

While pregnant with twins (or more), you are likely to receive more than a few comments—most often from complete strangers—about how rocky the road ahead is going to be. Some folks will seemingly try to convince you you’ll be lucky not to fall into a giant manhole at every step. I’ve always found this most unfortunate. In truth, these folks are partly right; it will be tough. But what they don’t realize is how rewarding and amazing an experience it will be at the same time.

My husband and I went from one child to three in a matter of minutes. (Our daughter was two when our twins were born.) I’ve decided that it’s tough raising any number of children. In fact, I’m convinced that it’s the hardest job there is! There’s no perfect spacing, no perfect age range. You are blessed with what you can handle—what you’re meant to handle—plain and simple.

That said, there are ways to ensure a less stressful first year raising multiples.

If you aren’t one already, become an organized and efficient person as soon as possible.

If you are already a proficient planner, capitalize on it and get even better! Trust me, this is doable. Even if you are the most frazzled person on earth, you are going to learn to be efficient and organized quite quickly because it will be necessary to your survival. According to Stephanie Winston, author of Getting Organized, “Order is whatever helps you to function effectively—nothing more and nothing less. You set the rules and the goals, however special, idiosyncratic, or individualistic they may be.”

As with nearly everything else during this year, take life day by day, and do what works for you in terms of organizing yourself and your family, even if your mother-in-law thinks you’re nuts (mine, by the way, swears she does not).

Don’t turn down help.
Many people are, by nature, simply more independent than others. It seems that mothers of multiples often fall into this category. Therefore, when help is offered, many of these women shy away from accepting help, often feeling as though saying “Yes” is the same as admitting (at the top of their lungs) “I can’t do this by myself!” Additionally, many women seem to feel that the person who has offered some help surely has a million other things on her own plate and therefore, she shouldn’t accept her offer.

I consider myself to be a relatively independent person, so I feel quite comfortable giving you a direct order on this one: ACCEPT HELP! Be sure that the help actually fulfills your definition, however. Having someone else rock and sing to your babies while you cook and clean is often not viewed as “help” by a new mom of multiples. Accept the offer from anyone willing to bring a meal, clean your house, do some laundry, or run an errand. You will have more than enough time sooner than you think to return the favor. Think about it: when you offer to help someone in need, you genuinely want to help. So does everyone volunteering his or her time to you right now. Say thank you and open your door (even if you’re in your pajamas)!

Realign your expectations.
This is of paramount importance to getting through the first year. Relinquish your need (if you have one) to have your entire house clean and in perfect order all the time. One secret I rely heavily on is scented candles (I prefer those by Yankee Candle Company). The “Banana Bread” scent will give the impression that you’ve been cooking all day. “Clean Cotton” will fool visitors into believing you cleaned the whole house just before they arrived. “Lavender” will soothe your mind at the end of a long day. Also, pick up a copy of Forget Perfect, by Lisa Earle McLeod.

Lisa reinforces the importance of putting ourselves at or near the top of our priority lists instead of the grime behind the kitchen sink or the toys strewn across the family room. Notes Lisa, “You are not trying to create a perfect childhood, you’re trying to create a functioning adult.” Your time would be better spent singing nursery rhymes than scrubbing walls.

Invest in a crockpot and few good crockpot recipe books.
The crockpot is a marvelous invention. Did you know that you can make quesadillas in a crockpot? The recipes for this contraption have come a long way and it’s not just for beef stew anymore. Whenever you have a spare second during the morning, pop the ingredients in and turn it on. By dinnertime (whether at 6PM or midnight), you have a fabulous meal cooked and the house smells fantastic.

If, by some small chance, one of the babies needs you the second you dish up your plate, just put your meal back in the old crockpot and it’ll be warm whenever you’re ready—no more cold dinners! I’m thinking of giving my crockpot a name this year and looking at it more like my own personal food butler.

Schedule weekly alone time with your spouse.
One of the biggest concerns I hear from women with multiples is that when the kids are grown and leave the house, they and their husbands will look at each other and exclaim, “Who are you?” It is important to make your best effort to nurture your relationship with your spouse to ensure this does not happen. When your babies are young, this will be easier (though it may not seem that way at the time) than when they start moving and talking nonstop. However, as the babies get older and the house gets crazier, you may feel as though you and your mate haven’t talked about anything other than where you’re going as you dart out of the house just as he pulls into the driveway.

Get a sitter when you’re comfortable taking that step; instead of viewing the cost as an extra thirty dollars for an evening out, look at it as an investment in your marriage and your family. Or forget the sitter and just plan on a late dinner for the two of you when the kids have gone to bed. Sit down and talk about something other than finances, who tackled whom that day, and how you’re going to negotiate the plane ride to grandma’s. I know some days it won’t seem like there’s anything else to talk about, but there is. Remember what you did on your first dates, fantasize about your ultimate retirement or vacation destination, or better yet, plan a date for the following week or month.

Maintain your sense of humor.
If you don’t have one, get one—QUICKLY! Research has shown that smiling causes your brain to release chemicals that make you feel good. Additionally, laughter releases endorphins in your body that allow you to relax. So, when you can only laugh or cry, do the former. It is more fun (and less expensive) than anxiety medication or therapy.

Retain an optimistic perspective.
There’s an old saying, “Attitude is everything.” Keith Harrell, author of a book by the same name, agrees. He states, “Your attitude dictates whether you are living life or life is living you. Attitude determines whether you are on the way or in the way.”

And remember, as a general rule, those with positive attitudes enjoy better overall health—a true gift from you to your new bundles of joy. Just when things seem to be at their lowest point, remember: it could always be worse. When I was having a particularly bad hour during the first year with our twins, I would remind myself that there were women in the world juggling sextuplets or more that very second. That usually provided enough clarity to get me through those sixty minutes.

Schedule personal time for yourself on a regular basis.
Many mothers begin to feel as if their lives are somewhat one-dimensional. They become convinced they are losing their own identity in the midst of raising their family. It is extremely important to carve out some time for yourself each day. Even if it’s only to snuggle into bed at night and read People magazine or a chapter of a book that’s been collecting dust on the shelf. Plan to spend time as often as you can with friends in the evenings or on weekends, and plan to do this without your kids when possible. Truly, you cannot take the best care of your family unless you are taking the best care of yourself.

Give yourself permission to make “mistakes.”
Write this statement down and put it in a spot where you will see it at least once a day:
During this day, I will do the best I can to be a mother to these children with the information, wisdom, and energy I have at this time.

Hours, days, or weeks from now there will be no point in looking back and saying, “Oh, if I had known THAT I would have done it differently.” Of course you might have, but the bottom line is that you will never be able to go back to that exact point in time—with the information that you now have—and do things differently. You do the best you can with what you have to work with at the time. That’s all you can expect of yourself—and that’s all your children expect from you.

Ignore advice from people whose opinion you don’t truly value.
You are going to get advice on childrearing in general left and right from family, friends, and women behind you in line at the grocery store. People are going to comment on your choice of breastfeeding or bottle-feeding. People will comment on how crazy the babies’ sleeping patterns are (and how much of that is your fault). Sit down and think about the people in your life whose opinions you really value.

Now, are any of those people the same ones who you would imagine attempting to give you “advice” that really feels more like criticism of your parenting skills? I doubt it. So, when you want advice, ask for it from the people whom you generally believe will give it to you with your best interests, not their underlying opinions, at heart. For everyone else, smile and keep walking. If it happens in your own home, feign a migraine and retire to your room until the offender leaves.

As Zora Neale Hurston once said, There are years that ask questions and years that answer. This year will most certainly do both—I guarantee it! And I will make you the promise that my great friend Mollie always makes to me: You’re going to make it!
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ELIZABETH LYONS is a parenting twins expert, syndicated columnist, freelance writer, and author of the hilarious Ready or Not Here We Come!: The Real Experts' Guide to the First Year With Twins (Finn-Phyllis Press, Inc., 2003) AND Ready or Not . . . There We Go!: The REAL Experts' Guide to the Toddler Years with Twins (Finn-Phyllis Press, Inc., 2006). Elizabeth spent much of her pre-kid, pre-twins career working for Accenture, a major consulting firm. She lives with her husband, David, and their four children (a daughter and twin boys) in the Pheonix area. She consumes vast amounts of chocolate with a vitamin chaser daily. Elizabeth's work has been published in the Chicago Tribune, Parenting, Today's Blue Suit Mom, Pregnancy, Better Homes & Gardens, and numerous websites.

Chores: Encouraging Preschoolers to Help Around the House

2007-05-29T20:37:00.000-05:00

by Susan Heim, author, It's Twins!

Preschoolers are at the only age in their lives when they don’t see chores as “work.” This is the perfect opportunity to get them started on helping you around the house. They often get very excited at the opportunity to be Mommy’s or Daddy’s little helper!

I know from experience that if you don’t get them started early that you’ll pay the price later. I was a single parent for many years, and raised my two oldest children alone from infancy and toddlerhood. Because they were so young, I got in the habit of just doing things myself, and it was just easiest to continue doing so as my children got older. I didn’t want to take the time to teach my sons how to help out, and I didn’t always have the patience to tolerate a less-than-exemplary job. When my kids were 11 and 14, I remarried, and my husband expected the boys to contribute to the household responsibilities. Needless to say, there was great resentment from them because they’d pretty much had a free ride up until that point! I began to see that I was really hurting my children by not teaching them to help out at a young age. We had a lot of adjustments to make, but my teenagers now do their own laundry, cook simple meals, clean their bathroom, mow the lawn, take care of the pets, and do many other things. Best of all, they’ll be able to do these things for themselves when they’re older—and they’ll make wonderful husbands!

Obviously, your preschoolers aren’t going to be able to help you with all of your tasks, but here’s a partial list of things that they can do. I’m sure you can think of more on your own!

• Pick up their toys.

• Set the table. Teach them where the silverware and napkins go.

• After dinner, take their dishes carefully into the kitchen (one at a time!).

• Wash the table. My preschoolers love to get a wet washcloth and scrub!

• Wash windows.

• Dust. Give them an old towel and have them dust the lower tables. (You may have to help them move things out of the way first.)

• Pull the covers up on their beds.

• Feed the pets.

• Put their dirty clothes in the hamper or laundry basket every day.

If your preschoolers are resistant to helping out, there are many ways to motivate them:

• Make It Fun! Sing songs or play music while you’re cleaning up. Some parents have a “theme song” where the kids know that if Mom or Dad turn on a certain song that it’s time to clean up!

• Never Use the Words “Work” or “Chores.” Always tell your children how much you need their help and what a big favor they’re doing for you!

• Don’t Complain About Your Own Work in Their Hearing. Let them see you enjoy making order from chaos.

• Start Them Out with Simple Tasks. Break big jobs down into little steps.

• Make a Game of It. Have a race to see who can clean up the most toys.

• Never Criticize Your Kids for Doing Their Jobs “Wrong.” Gently show them the correct way to do the task—even if you have to do it several times and on different occasions. If your children feel like they’ll never be able to please you, they’ll be reluctant to help out at all.

• Be Firm. Make it clear to your children that they can’t move on to a desired activity, such as having lunch or watching a movie, until clean-up is completed.

• Only Allow Children to Bring Out One or Two Toys at a Time. Before they can bring out something else, they must put their other toys away. This prevents messes from becoming overwhelming.

• Teach Your Children to Help Out When They’re Visiting Other Children’s Houses. If you want your children to be welcome playmates at other people’s houses, they need to have good manners and learn to help their friends clean up.

• Thank Your Children for Helping You. This instills a sense of accomplishment and sets a good example.

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Susan M. Heim is an author and editor, specializing in parenting, multiples, women’s and Christian issues. She is a former Senior Editor for a major publishing company, where she specialized in the bestselling "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series as well as religion and teen books. Susan is the author of the books, Oh, Baby! 7 Ways a Baby Will Change Your Life the First Year (Hampton Roads, 2006); "Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons" (TWINS Magazine, 2007); and It's Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence (Hampton Roads, 2007). Susan has a column called "Loving and Living with Twins and Multiples" on MommiesMagazine.com. She is a member of the National Association of Women Writers and the Southeastern Writers Association, and has a degree in Business Administration from Michigan State University. She is married and the mother of four sons--two teenagers and twin toddlers. Check out her blog, http://www.susanheim.blogspot.com

I Love My Kids' Clutter!

2007-05-29T20:34:00.000-05:00

by Susan Heim, author, It's Twins!

There’s a house in our neighborhood that always has toys strewn in the front yard. The kids have torn up a piece of the lawn to create a sand pit, and there are numerous miniature bulldozers, dump trucks, and other assorted construction vehicles tossed in. Some people call it an eyesore; I call it charming. The clutter says, "This is a home with a family."

I smile when I head toward my own house and see a plastic dinosaur amongst my husband’s meticulously groomed flowers. I decide not to pick it up. It tells the world that children live here, and I love it. Inside, toys litter the floor and the tabletops. My husband comes home and wants to know why they’re not picked up. The children should only play with one thing at a time, he says. Hmmm, I suppose, I mutter. But I don’t really agree. To him, the house is messy; to me, it’s a sign of wondrous play.

I guess I have the hindsight that comes with experience. My two oldest boys are now teenagers, and they grew up so fast. Having raised them as a single mom during their early years, I sometimes had less time than I wished just to relax and play with them. Power Rangers, Pokemon cards and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles used to cover the carpet . . . and then, one day, seemingly overnight, they were gone. No longer are my boys perfectly happy with anything "dinosaur" for their birthdays. All they want is cash and video games. I miss "Barney" and "Blue’s Clues."

Now that I have three-year-old boys again, I’m going to enjoy the "kid clutter" while I can. I laugh when I discover a plastic car in my underwear drawer, and I don’t mind a bit when I find my socks on a teddy bear. (Okay, I admit I got a little upset when I discovered one of my pearl earrings missing!) But I tell my husband that, one day, he’s going to miss the toys on the floor and the mess in our rooms. I know I’ll cherish these memories. Sure, it will be nice someday to actually be able to keep my house clean for an extended period of time, but for now, I’m embracing the clutter as only a parent can.

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Susan M. Heim is an author and editor, specializing in parenting, multiples, women’s and Christian issues. She is a former Senior Editor for a major publishing company, where she specialized in the bestselling "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series as well as religion and teen books. Susan is the author of the books, Oh, Baby! 7 Ways a Baby Will Change Your Life the First Year (Hampton Roads, 2006); "Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons" (TWINS Magazine, 2007); and It's Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence (Hampton Roads, 2007). Susan has a column called "Loving and Living with Twins and Multiples" on MommiesMagazine.com. She is a member of the National Association of Women Writers and the Southeastern Writers Association, and has a degree in Business Administration from Michigan State University. She is married and the mother of four sons--two teenagers and twin toddlers. Check out her blog, http://www.susanheim.blogspot.com

The Value of Play and Discovery

2007-05-29T20:28:00.000-05:00

by Susan Heim, author, It's Twins!

What pictures come into your mind when you remember your childhood? For me, I remember waking up to the sound of birds singing in the summer. And then my friends and I would play outside all day, only stopping into the house for meals or a quick check-in with Mom. The only rule we had was, "Just make sure you come home when the streetlights come on." We’d ride our bikes all over the neighborhood, go across the street to play at the park and elementary school, and collect worms and bugs and other creepy stuff. My sister and I would take our bamboo fishing poles to the river with a can of corn to catch carp. It was an idyllic time.

In the winter, we’d head out at the first sign of a snowfall. We’d build forts and snowmen, and make snow angels. We’d gather our sleds and head to the nearest hill. We’d put on our skates and play hockey in the street. Even in the winter, we were outdoors much of the time. I rarely remember sitting inside glued to the television, and we certainly didn’t play video games.

Today’s children are missing out on all that. Sure, they’ve got their soccer teams and organized sports, but what children are often missing out on is just unstructured time to explore and discover. According to Rae Pica, author of A Running Start: How Play, Physical Activity and Free Time Create a Successful Child, "Today, we have considerable research proving that . . . movement, play, and physical activity contribute to brain and intellectual development." Too often, she contends, we’re so focused on "achievement" and "competition" that we’re not allowing our children just to have their childhoods. We buy them the most high-tech gadgets and hurry them from one class to another, but "old-fashioned play and physical experiences offer the best opportunities for brain development"—NOT "the latest gadgets and gear."

In A Running Start, Rae Pica, an internationally recognized educational consultant in early childhood and movement education, shares her techniques for raising children "with the right balance of free play and structured activity." Topics include:

Keeping It Real: How Kids Really Learn
Ready or Not, Here Come Organized Sports
Helping Your Child Master Movement
The Real Standards for "Smart"
Is Your Child Playing Enough at School?
Finding the Right Organized Activity Program
You’ve Gotta Have Heart: Why Compassion Matters More Than Competition
Finding Creatures in the Clouds: The Value of Downtime
Getting Back on Track: Family First

I especially like how A Running Start is sprinkled with "Play & Learn Activities" that provide some great ideas for parents to bring fun and play back into their homes and yards. As Pica reminds us, "The family that plays together stays together." So, come on, grab those video controllers out of your kids’ hands and grab a butterfly net! Turn off the TV and head out to the stream to look for tadpoles! These are the memories that your children—and you—will cherish forever.

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Susan M. Heim is an author and editor, specializing in parenting, multiples, women’s and Christian issues. She is a former Senior Editor for a major publishing company, where she specialized in the bestselling "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series as well as religion and teen books. Susan is the author of the books, Oh, Baby! 7 Ways a Baby Will Change Your Life the First Year (Hampton Roads, 2006); "Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons" (TWINS Magazine, 2007); and It's Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence (Hampton Roads, 2007). Susan has a column called "Loving and Living with Twins and Multiples" on MommiesMagazine.com. She is a member of the National Association of Women Writers and the Southeastern Writers Association, and has a degree in Business Administration from Michigan State University. She is married and the mother of four sons--two teenagers and twin toddlers. Check out her blog, http://www.susanheim.blogspot.com

How to Cope When Your Kids Drive You Insane

2007-05-29T20:22:00.000-05:00

by Susan Heim, author, It's Twins!

Perhaps you’ve had more than a few days like mine. Caleb likes to pretend he’s a monster and chases his brother around the room while screaming, "Roarrrrr!!" at the top of his lungs.

Austen, of course, is also screaming because he’s being chased. Every time I try to leave the room to get a drink or use the bathroom, they start wrestling. This time, Caleb bites Austen on the back, and Austen hits Caleb in the lip with a Lego. In frustration, I put them in their high chairs for lunch. When I go into the kitchen to clean up, they proceed to throw every piece of food on their tray across the room (including yogurt!) and spit their drinks all over the floor.

Do I get mad? YOU BET! I’m furious! At times, I’m nearly in tears at the prospect of another battle with them, and entirely frustrated at not being obeyed. On days like these, it’s nearly impossible to keep my cool. Nevertheless, it’s important to maintain the peace. The key is to ward off these episodes by having a few strategies for warding off a parental meltdown:

• Isolate yourself from the situation. Put the kids in their high chairs or beds where they’ll be safe and away from each other. Then go into the next room and collect yourself. One day, when my twins were younger and being particularly frustrating, I placed them in their cribs and escaped to the next room to watch fifteen minutes of a comedy I had taped the night before. The twins quit yelling after a few minutes and were happily making faces at each other afterward. Best of all, I got to do something for me, and the funny show lifted my mood.

• Go outdoors. If the weather is decent, strap the kids in the stroller and take a walk. The fresh air and sights will clear your head, and the change of scenery will snap everyone out of their bad moods.

• Use distractions. Have a few things on hand that you only bring out when you really need the kids’ attention. A bottle of bubbles often does the trick! My children love to chase bubbles, and their giggles make me feel better. We also shine a laser light or flashlight on the floor and walls. The twins chase after it like they’re trying to catch a mouse. It’s hilarious to watch! Strap the kids in their high chairs and bring out erasable crayons or finger paints. This will occupy them for ages!

• Call a sympathetic friend or family member. This may be your mom or your best friend, but call someone who will reassure you that your kids will grow up. One day you’ll be wishing your children wanted you more…trust me! If your friend has little ones, ask her to take yours off your hands for an hour or so and promise to do the same for her the following week. Even an hour of time to yourself can be a sanity-saver.

• Remember how blessed you are. My first two pregnancies ended in miscarriage, and I was devastated. Every sighting of a pregnant woman (even a fake one on a TV sitcom) would put me in tears. I was terrified that I would never be a mother. Now, four children later, it still makes me giddy when I remember that my dream came true! If you experienced a difficult road to parenthood, reflect on the days when you feared you might never have children. You’ll find a new gratitude for the little hellions now running around your house!

• Stick in a favorite video. I know, I know, some experts say our kids shouldn’t watch TV, but hey, many of those experts aren’t in the throes of parenting toddlers when they write that advice! I’m not advocating that your children sit in front of the boob tube all day, but if you really feel like you’re “losing it,” I still think a half-hour of Baby Einstein is much better for your kids than a swat on the butt. And hey, they might even learn a new word or two!

• Tempt their tummies. My twins immediately stop what they’re doing when they hear we’re going to share a dish of ice cream! We savor every bite and stretch it out for a half-hour or so. Of course, we don’t make this an everyday occurrence, but it’s a sweet indulgence for a while and distracts the boys from their chaos. A word of caution: If certain food ingredients make your kids wild, get them to look forward to the apple slices or carrot sticks!

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Susan M. Heim is an author and editor, specializing in parenting, multiples, women’s and Christian issues. She is a former Senior Editor for a major publishing company, where she specialized in the bestselling "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series as well as religion and teen books. Susan is the author of the books, Oh, Baby! 7 Ways a Baby Will Change Your Life the First Year (Hampton Roads, 2006); "Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons" (TWINS Magazine, 2007); and It's Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence (Hampton Roads, 2007). Susan has a column called "Loving and Living with Twins and Multiples" on MommiesMagazine.com. She is a member of the National Association of Women Writers and the Southeastern Writers Association, and has a degree in Business Administration from Michigan State University. She is married and the mother of four sons--two teenagers and twin toddlers. Check out her blog, http://www.susanheim.blogspot.com

Parenting Advice Changes Over Time

2007-05-29T20:20:00.000-05:00

by Susan Heim, author, It's Twins!

It’s funny how a lot of the advice our parents received about taking care of their babies has changed over time. Of course, most of it wasn’t bad advice, and certainly didn’t hurt us. But certain precautions were sometimes taken that weren’t necessary. Here are some examples:

OLD ADVICE: Babies’ bottles must be warmed before serving.
NEW ADVICE: Most babies don’t mind formula or milk that’s served cold or at room temperature. And there is no medical reason why milk must be warmed. Merely taking the bottle out of the refrigerator about 15 minutes before feeding will take the edge off the chill. Or formula can be prepared right before use and fed at room temperature.

OLD ADVICE: Swimming sooner than a half-hour after eating will cause cramps.
NEW ADVICE: There has never been a single death caused by swimming too soon after eating. People do not experience cramps from swimming immediately after a meal.

OLD ADVICE: Sugar makes children hyper.
NEW ADVICE: Many studies have been conducted to test this theory, and no connection has been found between sugar consumption and children’s behavior. Some children may have sensitivities to certain foods, but sugar does not cause hyperactivity in the average child.

Of course, there are also plenty of examples of old-time advice that has withstood the test of time and shown that our mothers were right! For instance, our parents were usually told to keep their newborns home for the first few months to minimize their babies' exposure to germs. But I’ve seen plenty of newborns at public places, such as the grocery store, with strangers’ hands all over them! In this case, I’m with Mom . . . I wouldn’t want to risk a cold or the flu when the baby’s only a few months old.

If you’re a new parent or grandparent, it’s important to educate yourself on current parenting advice. Check with your doctor, read parenting magazines, and listen to your instincts.

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Susan M. Heim is an author and editor, specializing in parenting, multiples, women’s and Christian issues. She is a former Senior Editor for a major publishing company, where she specialized in the bestselling "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series as well as religion and teen books. Susan is the author of the books, Oh, Baby! 7 Ways a Baby Will Change Your Life the First Year (Hampton Roads, 2006); "Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons" (TWINS Magazine, 2007); and It's Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence (Hampton Roads, 2007). Susan has a column called "Loving and Living with Twins and Multiples" on MommiesMagazine.com. She is a member of the National Association of Women Writers and the Southeastern Writers Association, and has a degree in Business Administration from Michigan State University. She is married and the mother of four sons--two teenagers and twin toddlers. Check out her blog, http://www.susanheim.blogspot.com

Raising Kids with Confidence

2007-05-28T05:11:00.000-05:00

by Susan Heim, author, It's Twins!

As a child, I lacked self-confidence, and even though I think I turned out fairly well as an adult and am happy with my life, I often wonder how different my life would have been if I had been a little more confident and courageous. For instance, I graduated as valedictorian from my high school with a straight-A average, and yet I was only brave enough to attend my first three years of college at a school in my home state that didn’t have particularly high standards for admission.

If I were to do it over again, I would have applied to Ivy League schools and to universities situated in places that I’d always wanted to go! How I would have loved to study overseas. Who knows what I’d be doing today if I’d followed that path. And there are so many other opportunities I never pursued because I just didn’t feel confident enough to go after them.

Therefore, one of my goals as a parent has always been to try to encourage my children to have more confidence and courage than I did. That’s why I was intrigued when a copy of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids by Dr. Jenn Berman came across my desk. Although Dr. Berman covers a wide range of parenting issues, I especially liked the chapter called, "F Is for Free to Be Me!" because it really got down to the basics of building self-esteem in children. I was reassured by Dr. Berman’s words: "All parents want to raise children who feel great about themselves and, while there are no guarantees, there are many things that you can do to give your little ones this advantage." Some of the strategies she suggests include:

Watch Your Words: She cautions parents to avoid name-calling. Instead of saying, "You’re so careless," say "That was a careless thing to do."

Be Accepting: Let your children know that you accept them for who they are, flaws and all.

Grok Your Kids: The term grok, from the book Stranger in a Strange Land, means to "deeply comprehend and accept another." Parents need to make an effort to really understand their children by "not projecting any fantasies or desires on to a person and acknowledging who he or she really is."

Pay Attention: "Providing focused attention and empathy is also vital to your child’s self-esteem."

Respect Thoughts and Feelings: Respect your child’s opinions even if you don’t always agree. Ask your child for her opinions and really listen to her response.

Teach Your Child to Fail: Allow your children to engage in competition, which gives them opportunities to learn from their mistakes.

Have High Standards: Set high standards for your children, but don’t be "punishing, controlling, or benevolent." Learn how to balance having high expectations with pushing too hard.

Teach Them to Express: Teach children how to express their feelings so they don’t "act out in destructive ways." Know that all feelings are valid, even if they’re negative.

In my own life, I’ve made a promise to myself to work on my own self-esteem, to defeat those self-defeating thoughts that I’ve carried over from childhood. As Dr. Berman points out, "The best way to raise a child with healthy self-esteem is to model good self-esteem yourself. . . . If you feel that you are not a positive role model, then you owe it to yourself and to your child to do everything you can do to raise your self-esteem." That sounds like great advice for raising confident kids.

You can find more of Dr. Jenn’s advice at www.DoctorJenn.com.

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Susan M. Heim is an author and editor, specializing in parenting, multiples, women’s and Christian issues. She is a former Senior Editor for a major publishing company, where she specialized in the bestselling "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series as well as religion and teen books. Susan is the author of the books, Oh, Baby! 7 Ways a Baby Will Change Your Life the First Year (Hampton Roads, 2006); "Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons" (TWINS Magazine, 2007); and It's Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence (Hampton Roads, 2007). Susan has a column called "Loving and Living with Twins and Multiples" on MommiesMagazine.com. She is a member of the National Association of Women Writers and the Southeastern Writers Association, and has a degree in Business Administration from Michigan State University. She is married and the mother of four sons--two teenagers and twin toddlers. Check out her blog, http://www.susanheim.blogspot.com

LeapFrog Interactive Learn & Groove Musical Table Review

2007-05-19T05:59:00.000-05:00

We just picked up the Leap Frog Interactive Music Table for our triplets, and the results so far are impressive.

When one is standing at it and making music, it catches the attention of the others and soon they're all around it, taking turns (so far) in manipulating the many features to create new sounds and musical notes.

The overall quality of the toy itself is what you'd expect of a Leap Frog product -- good plastic, and seemingly durable for a long period of heavy play. And it appears a good amount of thought went into the layout and variety of interactive activities.

There's eight different things for your babies to play with on the Leap Frog Interactive Music Table, ranging from keyboard keys that speak their colors to shape buttons that speak their shapes. Plus, it has a switch to hear the words in Spanish... which is great if your household is a bilingual one, or if you'd just like your kids to experience a new language.

Ultimately, the LeapFrog table passed an all-important test with us this morning. One of our 14-month-old triplets was up at 6 am, and when we put him down in the playroom to hopefully occupy himself for a little while, he gravitated right to the table before any other of his many toys around him, and he had fun for at least twenty minutes. It was a noisy fun, but still a ringing endorsement.

OUR REVIEW: 4 out of 5 stars

FEATURES (from Amazon.com):

Interactive, bilingual activity table
Entertains with songs, melodies, twinkling lights, real instrument sounds, and lots of things to spin, roll, slide, open and close
More than 40 songs and melodies
Contoured grips make "pulling up" a piece of cake
Powered by 3 AA-size batteries (not included)

Read what other parents have to say about the LeapFrog Learn & Groove Musical Table.

10 Fun Places to Take Children

2007-04-27T12:02:00.000-05:00

You're stuck in the house with the kids, and everyone is antsy, bouncing off the walls. The weather isn't great for playing outside. You need to get out, but your family and friends are all busy. What are some great rainy-day, kid-friendly places to take toddler-aged kids? Here are our 10 favorites:

1. Children's museums. We have at least two good ones in the Detroit area: the Detroit Science Center and the Cranbrook Institute. These types of museums often has great activities for little kids -- water experiments, dinosaur bone digs, etc. -- and they might actually learn something in the process!

2. The local library. This depends on the children's facilities at your library. We have at least two near our home that have great active play areas for the kids, and we don't have to worry about them being noisy.

3. The zoo. If you're fortunate enough to have a good zoo nearby, make sure you take advantage of it. Even if it's raining, our zoo has enough indoor exhibits to have a great day seeing and learning about animals while staying dry. We found we weren't visiting ours as frequently as we should, so we joined the zoo society, which sent us updates on its special programs and events, motivating us to visit more often.

4. The local nature center. Many communities have fantastic nature centers allowing kids as young as toddler-age interact with plants and animals. Call your city or township offices to find out what your community has to offer, and visit nearby cities as well.

5. The pet store. If you can't find a nearby zoo or nature center, don't forget the pet store. Pet superstores have been springing up all over in recent years, and many offer impressive collections of dogs, cats, fish, birds, reptiles, hamsters and other animals to delight the little ones.

6. Indoor parks. In the Metro Detroit area, more and more indoor play parks are opening, offering things features like inflatable playscapes (moonwalks and variations on the theme), jungle gyms, and much more. Check online and in your local phone books.

7. Exercise gyms and clubs. Large exercise facilities with huge indoor pools are becoming quite the rage, and many of these pools offer family hours for you to bring in the kids. The Great Lakes Athletic Club near us in north Oakland County has a fantastic pool with slides and more. You'll have to join, but many clubs offer cost-effective plans that help you meet several goals: a place to take the kids, an opportunity to get back into pre-children shape, and a chance to demonstrate the importance of exercise to your children.

8. Community pools. Here in northern Oakland County, Michigan, we're close to the Lapeer athletic center, which recently opened with a fantastic indoor pool for all ages. The kid's pool features multiple slides, several interactive fountains, and more. Look in your nearby cities for similar facilities -- they're a blast for the whole family!

9. Mall playgrounds. Many popular and upscale malls these days have installed toddler play areas full of soft-padded objects great for climbing. But these are also playgrounds for germs, so bring plenty of wipes for and clean their hands regularly!

10. Fast food playgrounds. We put it last on the list, because we use it as our last resort. We try to keep our fast food consumption to a minimum, so sometimes we'll go to McDonald's or Burger King in the middle of the morning or afternoon, not to eat but just to play. Of course, we may buy a pop or fries out of guilt, but it's still a cheap way to entertain the kids in quick bursts. Try to visit at less-busy times, and again, make sure you bring those disinfecting wipes since those playscapes are often breeding grounds for germs.

How to Play with Your Children

2007-04-26T22:03:00.000-05:00

It should be the simplest thing, something that requires no instruction or inspiration beyond the desire to have a fun moment with your children. But sometimes we run out of ideas on how to entertain the little ones, or the ideas we're trying just don't grab their attention. Here are 10 play activities we've been using lately (we think these are good activities for ages 6 months to 2 years). We hope they work for you, too!

1. Cars and trucks. (Great for girls as well as boys!) Find a special part of the home with a smooth, hard floor. It should be a spot that can become your regular play area for cars and trucks. Keep a bucket full of Hot Wheels, Matchbox, and other cars and trucks of various sizes. Sit several feet from the kids and just start rolling the toys right to them. There's a bunch of things the kids can do with them... roll them back, pick them up and twirl the wheels, or flip them over and spin them upside-down. Make a special car time each day, and everyone will look forward to it. For us, this is good for at least 20 or 3o minutes.

2. Peek-a-boo. It's the simplest of games, but our kids (around a year old) absolutely love it. Our technique is to go back and forth. First, we keep repeating "Where's Cameron? Where did he go?"... as Cameron holds the blanket in front of his face himself. We pretend to look all around while he giggles behind the blanket. He drops it and we take a moment to finish looking around then suddenly notice him and make a surprised yelp. He laughs, then it's our turn. This is a blast.

3. Building blocks. We'll build towers, and the kids will watch in great anticipation of knocking them down. Holding them back from tipping the towers is half the fun. They love the horsing around of being tickled and pushed back while we keep building. Then, when we're happy with the height, we allow them to get close enough to bring the towers down and tickle them for destroying our creations. A few of the kids have watched enough to start making their own towers.

4. Puppet shows. You don't need real puppets. Even socks will do. Just hide behind the couch and have at least two puppets interact in goofy, big gestures. The sillier the voices, the better. Bring up the children's names to pull them into the story.

5. Wagon rides. Even if it's a rainy day, you can still bring a wagon inside and pull the kids from room to room. Make it a real adventure, searching for wild stuffed animals you've hidden around the house before the ride.

6. Water play. Fill the kitchen or bathroom sink with water (after making sure it's clean, of course), and supply some cups, floating toys, plastic utensils and other items for splashing. Run a thin stream of water and let the child splash around seated next to the sink, perhaps even with their feet dangling inside. But always stand beside the child, never leaving in order to ensure the child doesn't fall.

7. Pots and pans. Kids love making noise, so sit them down with some metal pots and pans (nothing too heavy) and metal and wooden utensils (no knives, of course). Show them how to bang things together to make fun, unique noises, and watch as they experiment.

8. Rotating toys to keep them "fresh." Your children may have more toys than they could possibly play with, but if they're all out in the open and visible at all times, the kids may quickly get bored with them. Once every week or two, we go through the main baskets of toys and even larger ride-on toys. We'll put some away in closets or the basement, and pull out others that have been stored away for some time. This way, older toys seem new and grab their attention all over again.

9. Forts. Push a few pieces of furniture close together and throw a blanket across them, creating an enclosed area. Spend time inside the fort with the kids, pulling some of their favorite toys inside. (But make sure they can't pull the blanket down and become smothered.)

10. Fun with Music. Play an appropriate CD or tape of light, fun music and sing -- maybe even dance -- in front of them. Take their arms and help them sway to the beat. It will help instill an early appreciation of music and maybe even get them up and moving for some exercise.

How to Take Great, Cheap Pictures of Your Kids

2007-04-25T12:23:00.000-05:00

Whether you have one or multiple children, getting professional photos taken of your kids can cost a fortune. We recently did our own photography shoot at home, and the results were great! Here are some tips:

1. Pick the right camera. Your simple point-and-shoot digital camera may not cut it. Find someone who has a digital SLR camera, which is what the pros use. These allow you to take great photos that won't turn out grainy. They allow you to adjust the aperture and other settings to create the ideal shots. If you don't know someone who has one, consider investing in one. If you plan to take nice portraits of your family once or several times a year, the money you'll save from not having to go to professional studios will quickly add up and repay your investment. (Expect to pay $500 to $1,500 for a good SLR camera.)

2. Choose a good setting. We have a slightly elevated landing near our front door that was perfect for dressing up for the photo shoot. It's out of the way from the major activity of the house, away from the kids' toys which would otherwise cause distractions, and close enough to the bathroom to allow for quick potty runs.

3. Select a non-busy background. We've tried this a few ways. On our landing mentioned above, we hung a simple white sheet on the wall and spread a matching blanket on the floor for the kids to sit on. For another photo shoot, we positioned the kids in front of the fireplace and lit a fire for a nice glowing background. But if you're using part of your house as the background, make sure the items behind the kids will contrast nicely with the children's clothes so they stand out.

4. Don't fight bad moods... Reschedule. The beauty of doing a photo shoot inside your home is that if the kids aren't eager to cooperate, you can call off the picture session and do it another time. If you've booked studio time with a professional photographer, you'd be out of luck and may end up with pictures of frowning kids.

5. Have helpers on hand. If you're manning the camera, you'll need at least one other person nearby to fetch toys to get their attention, make faces behind the camera to get them to smile, etc. And if the kids are positioned perfectly for a shot and all of a sudden demand a glass of water, your helper can play server while you preserve your shot and your sanity.

6. It's all about the lighting. Most amateur photography ends up looking grainy or fuzzy because of insufficient lighting. Not only do you need light aimed in front of your children, but also behind them to avoid casting ugly shadows across the background. This is one of the secrets of the pros, and the sooner you figure out where to place front and background lights for perfect lighting conditions, the sooner you'll arrive at crisp, clean, great-looking photos.

7. Don't just get them to say "Cheese!" Many of the best-looking shots you see of children capture them looking more naturally. Sometimes a pensive look off in the distance, or looking down at their feet, can create a more adorable photo than the full-teeth "cheese" grin. Since you're calling the shots and have no limit on budget or studio time, try as many different ideas as possible.

8. Choose appropriate props. Usually the classic teddy bear or rocking chair is a better way to go than pop-culture toys like Elmo or Spider-man action figures. Sorry, Spidey, but a teddy bear will make grandma "ooh and aah" more than you will.

9. Shop around for the best photo printing deals. We use Costco, and ended up printing more 8 x 10s, 5 x 7s and 4 x 6s than we and our extended family could possibly ever need for less than $30. Also try services like Snapfish.com. Whichever you choose, you'll likely be able to post your entire photo session online (our latest was around 140 pictures) so family and friends may go online and place their own orders.

10. Practice, and schedule shoots regularly. Once you have the above tips down, there's no reason why you shouldn't schedule a shoot every few months to preserve your kids' childhood for the future. As you get the hang of it, the process gets more and more fun, and you'll find yourself brainstorming creative new ideas at the strangest times. But most of all, MAKE IT FUN!

Best Strollers - Reviews, Comparisons, Recommendations

2007-02-17T11:21:00.000-05:00

If you're wondering what's the best stroller for your baby, twins or triplets, hopefully we can help.

One of the most important purchases you'll make is a baby stroller. You have to consider safety ratings, product quality and overall usefullness. And since there are dozens if not hundreds of models to choose from, how do you choose?

Well, we have experience here, and we've combined what we've learned with additional research on safety ratings and recommendations from other parents to create an online tool with reviews, comparisons and recommendations... plus a quick test that could help pick the right stroller for you.

CLICK HERE to take our Pick the Right Stroller test.

Multiples Support Groups, Online Resources, Coupons

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Support Groups

It's often helpful to communicate with other moms of multiples and share insights, talk out your frustrations, and just get a sense that others know what you're going through and are there to help.

Here are some clubs we've found, and if you have more for us to list, please e-mail us!

Arizona - Arizona State Mothers of Multiples (ASMOMO)

California: Los Angeles - Higher Order Multiple Support group

California: Solano County - Solano Parents of Twins & Triplets (SPOTT)

Florida: Lakeland - Lakeland Parents of Multiples Club

Florida: Pinellas County - Pinellas Parents of Duplicates

Florida: Tampa Bay - Tampa Bay Area Mothers of Multiples (BaMoMs)

Georgia: Atlanta North - The North Metro Mothers of Multiples Club (NNMOMC)

Georgia: Atlanta South - Southern Crescent Parents of Multiples (SCPM)

Georgia: Metro Atlanta - Atlanta Triplets and More Club (ATM)

Hawaii: Oahu - Aloha Mothers of Multiples

Illionois: Southern - Metro East Mothers of Multiples

Indiana: Higher Order Multiples

Indiana: Northwest - Mothers of Multiple Miracles (MOMMS)

Indiana: Southside Indianapolis - The SouthSide Parents of Multiples (SSPOM)

Indiana: Valparaiso - Porter County Mothers of Twins Club

Maryland: Baltimore - Baltimore Parents of Multiples (BPOM)

Nebraska: Omaha - The Omaha Parents of Multiples Club (OPMC)

New Jersey: Bergen County- Multiplicity

New York; Rockland County - Multiplicity

North Carolina - North Carolina Mothers of Multiples (NCMOM)

North Carolina: Asheville - Asheville Area Mothers of Multiples (MOM)

Ohio: Cincinnati - Northeastern (Cincinnati) Mothers of Twins and More Club (NEMOTMC)

Ohio: Western Cincinnati - Western Cincinnati Mothers of Twins Club

Oklahoma: Edmonds - Edmonds Mothers of Multiples (EMOMs)

Ontario, Canada: Mississauga - Mississauga Parents of Multiple Births Association (MPOMBA)

Ontario, Canada: Ottawa - Multiple Birth Families Association (MBFA)

Ontario, Canada: Toronto - Toronto Parents of Multiple Births Association (TPOMBA)

Tennessee: Knoxville - Greater Knoxville Area Parents of Multiples Club (GKAPOMC)

Texas: Austin - Austin Mothers of Multiples (AMOM)

Texas: Dallas - Dallas Mothers of Twins and Triplets Club (DMOTTC)

Texas: North Dallas/Richardson - North Dallas Mothers of Twins Club

Texas: Plano - Plano Area Mothers of Multiples (PAMOM)

Texas: The Woodlands - Woodlands Mothers of Multiples (WMOM)

Utah: Utah County - Utah Valley Mothers of Multiples (UVMOM)

Virginia: Hampton Roads - Tidewater Mothers of Multiples Club (TMOMC)

Virginia: Woodbridge - Eastern Prince William Mothers of Twins Club (EPWMOTC)

Washington: Pierce County/Tacoma - Tacoma Parents of Multiples

Wisconsin: Kenosha County - Kenosha County Parents of Multiples Club

Online Information

There's several fantastic places to turn online for answers to your important questions on raising multiples, medical information, and much more. Below are some great links, and e-mail us if you've found more we should add!

About.com: Parenting of Multiples - A site dedicated to multiple birth families, with original articles, chat, newsletters and multiples-related links.
American Baby: Parenting Twins and Multiples - Expert advice for parents of twins. Includes how to breastfeed twins, and an up-close-and-personal look into the life of Bobbi McCaughey, mother of septuplets.
Details of Life With Triplets - Life with triplets, including pregnancy, birth and infant ages as told by Mom.
KeepKidsHealthy.com: Twins - Learn about general twin parenting, read articles on statistics and your chances of having multiple babies, as well as parenting tips.
Mom2Many.com - Parents of Multiples Across Canada - An internet community for Canadian parents of multiples featuring articles, classified ads, auctions, discussion forums.
MOST: Mothers of Supertwins - An international non-profit, charity support network for families who have or are expecting triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets or higher. Forums, parenting packages, newsletter, links, resources.
Multiple Births Canada - MBC's mission is to improve the quality of life for multiple birth individuals and their families across Canada. Provides support, education, research, and advocacy.
Parenting Multiples Guide - A mom of fraternal twin girls shares information on parenting multiples. Pictures, pregnancy information, tips and recipes.
Parenting Twins - Articles about how parenting twins differs from parenting singletons (single birth children).
Preemie Twins - Resource for parents of multiples and premature infants.
Talk About Twins - Features a variety of twin-specific issues such as preparing for twins' arrival, promoting individuality, as well as pros and cons to school separation.
The Triplet Connection - A place for parents of higher order multiples to get information. Message boards, parenting information, shopping, links.
Twin Services Consulting - Twin and multiple birth resources for parents, caregivers and educators, including articles, parenting guide, links to support groups and books.
TwinAdvice.com - Advice for parents of twins, from parents of twins.
Twins & Multiple Births Association, UK - The web site of the only parent organisation in the UK providing information and support to couples who are expecting, or who have had, a multiple birth.
Twins Help! - Information and products for twins, siblings, parents and grandparents. Includes many articles about life with twins and multiples.
TWINS Magazine - Reports bi-monthly on having, parenting and enjoying twins. Contains articles, books, reports on having and raising twins as well as sells gifts for parents of multiples. Current issues, back issues and articles are for sale online.
Twins Online UK - For parents of twins and twins themselves from pregnancy to school age and beyond.
Twinsights - Provides encouragement, support, tips, and advice for twin moms and women expecting more than one. Hosted by Cheryl Lage, author of Twinspiration and mom to fraternal twins.
TwinsUK - Company dedicated to families with twins or more. Offers tips, twin gifts, practical and innovative products for twins and multiples.

Special Savings for Moms of Multiples

Several companies offer great savings for parents of multiple children. Below are some of the deals we've found, and e-mail us if you know of more we should add!

Beechnut Food Corporation
Call 1-800-523-6633 to get 2 - 5 times the coupons for Beechnut Baby Food.

Evenflo Products
Call 1-800-356-BABY for information on receiving twins-quads starter kits including disposable liners for diaper pails, bibs, and coupons for other products.

Gerber
Call 1-800-4-GERBER and ask for the Multiple Birth Program. They will send free food, coupons, feeding spoons, and more.

Johnson and Johnson
Call 1-800-526-3967 to receive your twins-quads gift packet and coupons.

Kimberly Clark - Huggies diapers
Call 1-800-544-1847 for money saving coupons and free products for twins-quads.

Mead and Johnson, makers of Enfamil Baby Formula
Call 1-800-222-9123 for information on receiving a free case of formula (for each baby twins-quads) and money saving coupons.

Proctor and Gamble - Pampers and Luvs diapers
Parents of triples or more can call 1-800-543-0480 to receive a free package of diapers for each baby.

The First Years
Call 1-800-533-6708 for information on receiving twins-quads bibs and rattles.

Have a Resource to Share?

Help us build our collection of links to important resources for new and expecting moms of multiples. Please email information to: mostlymultiples@charter.net.

Great Products for Parents of Multiples

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This section of MostlyMultiples.com focuses on items to help make raising your multiples easier. We'll feature reviews of products we like, links to unique solutions, and tips from our readers. If you'd like to submit a review of an item, please send it in an email to mostlymultiples@charter.net.

Unique bottle holders help you feed multiple children at once

How often have your multiples cried for their bottles while you were short-handed, forcing you to choose which baby to feed first and leaving the others staring at you in tears with that "Why not me?" look?

Babacaddy.com offers a unique solution: elephant-shaped, plush bottle holders that a baby can easily grasp by the ears and keep the bottle upright for drinking.

Of course, the folks at BabaCaddy remind you that you should never leave your babies unattended, either while using their Elephant Ears bottle holders or anything else. Words to live by.

Check out these unique and adorable bottle holders at babacaddy.com.

Dr. Brown's Natural Flow Bottles Review

With multiples, your odds are greater that you'll have at least one baby that has a problem with gas, colic or spitting up. That's why when we discovered we were having multiples we researched the best brand of bottles to put on our shower registry and determined Dr. Brown's Natural Flow Bottles were the best choice for us.

Dr. Brown's Natural Flow bottles use a patented system that uses a vented insert to eliminate air bubbles and vacuum that your babies would otherwise suck down with their formula and possibly become uncomfortable. We don't know how much of this we can credit Dr. Brown's Natural Flow Bottles, but none of our three babies have had digestive issues since birth.

Some reviews will say Dr. Brown's bottles are more work to clean, and they are, but it's minimal. You simply have two additional pieces to go into the dishwasher. Instead of the bottle, ring and nipple, you also have the two parts of the insert. No big deal.

Overall, Dr. Brown's Natural Flow Bottles have been a great choice for us, and we'd highly recommend them to all expecting mothers -- multiples or otherwise! We've found that not all stores carry them, so when we needed more we just got them from Amazon.com. Good price, no tax and they qualify for free shipping.